Elf Business Transcript



NARRATOR

Welcome dear listeners, to the Adventures of Sir Rodney the Root!

'''SCENE 1. EXT. ROAD TO AMARANTHYNE'''

Sound: The Companions WALK down a dirt road. Ambient nature sounds.

COLIN

(whiny)

How long til we get there?

EVERYONE ELSE

Oh my gods / Again? / Please / *squeak*

BARD

After a few days of tedious travel north from Briarthorne, the Companions have grown a bit cranky.

CAMILLA

Oh shut up, you.

BARD

Perhaps the murder of Duchess Withershanks weighs heavily on their souls.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">I didn't- ugh, would you knock it off with that?!

<p style="text-align:center;">BARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Fortunately they are less than a day's walk from Amaranthyne- the capital of the Elven Imperium, the mighty and cultured northern neighbors of Kirkland.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Wait, less than a day? Already?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">What's wrong?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Nothing. Everything's fine. Why would something be wrong?

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Because you're acting odd... odder than usual, I mean.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I have been hitting my head a lot. The damage is probably affecting my personality.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm, like, doing okay though. If anyone was, ya know, wondering or anything.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">We're all very happy for you.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Like, in case anyone wanted to check in. Cuz, you know, I died. And got put in a dead unicorn. And I have like, no memory of who I was before? Which is kind of a lot.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh. Sorry.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Yeah.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Do you want to talk about it, Keanu?

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Not really... Why do you ask?

<p style="text-align:center;">BARD

<p style="text-align:center;">To arrive at the crystalline gates of the shining city of Amaranthyne their trip will not be all dappled sunlight and magical horses. Oh no. They must brave the perils of the enchanted Whispering Woods that guard the Imperium's border with Kirkland.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Abrupt stop to any AMBIENT pleasant nature sounds.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONTINUOUS:

<p style="text-align:center;">'''SCENE 2. EXT. THE WHISPERING WOODS.'''

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Dark, forest-y, sinister. Unintelligible whispers throughout, the vocal equivalent of wind through leaves.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Well. I'm going guess this is the Whispering Woods.

<p style="text-align:center;">FOREST

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh wow smart one here / Yes obviously

<p style="text-align:center;">KEVIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Squeak

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">It's okay Kevin, I'm scared too.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Hi, Scared I'm--

<p style="text-align:center;">EVERYONE ELSE & FOREST

<p style="text-align:center;">DON'T.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Well. I guess that means we have to turn around.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">It's a bunch of trees.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">You do understand that this forest was enchanted by mages, right? This place does stuff to you. To your head.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Niiice.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I would rather climb down the White Cliffs of Amaranthyne using only a fork than go this way.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Your bravery is truly inspiring.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm sorry, did you miss the bit where I said it DOES STUFF TO YOUR MIND?! And that's not even getting into the rodents of unusual size.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEVIN

<p style="text-align:center;"> * squeak!*

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Our only other option is to take two weeks to walk the whole way around. The purpose of the Woods is to prevent those of ill intent and weak mind from entering the Imperium. We'll be fine.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Huh? Sorry, I zoned out.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">(sigh)

<p style="text-align:center;">However, that does not mean we should be foolhardy.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Mechanical weapon being readied.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm locked and loaded. Lead on, Princess.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">What's that?

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">It's a concealable crossbow. Made it myself.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">That would have been helpful when we fought that vampire.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">I wasn't finished with the prototype yet. Art takes time.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: CROSSBOW ARROW SHOOTS. HITS tree. BIRDS squawk and fly off.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Oooooh!

<p style="text-align:center;">FOREST

<p style="text-align:center;">Ow. / Hey / Watch it!

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Ooops.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">It seems the trigger is a bit sensitive.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">You just have to have the good touch. Which I do.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I've changed my mind; I'd rather be carried off by a giant rat...

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Faendyr walks off with purpose

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Wait, Faendyr! Don't get too far ahead!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: WOOD CREAKING, VINES, etc, as the forest attacks Faendyr.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">(from further in)

<p style="text-align:center;">Ow! Hey! Watch it! Not the hair!

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Do you need help?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Incende!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: FIREBALL. Wood CREAKING, SQUEAKING in pain.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Like that, huh? There's more where that came from.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Well. Shall we?

<p style="text-align:center;">'''SCENE 3. EXT. WHISPERING WOODS. '''

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Same environment as before, with the addition of the Companions walking down a dirt path through the forest.

<p style="text-align:center;">BARD

<p style="text-align:center;">And so the brave Sir Rodney leads his cowardly companions into the strange forest.

<p style="text-align:center;">As they follow the path deeper and deeper through the ominous and sentient trees, the sunlight grows fainter, and the trees reach closer. What dangers lurk in the shadows?

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Creepy MUSIC, FOREST sounds. ANIMALS. An unsettling atmosphere. Beats between each section to build this sense of foreboding.

<p style="text-align:center;">FOREST

<p style="text-align:center;">[Whispers]

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Who was that?

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Wasn't me.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Uhh, me neither. I think.

<p style="text-align:center;">FOREST

<p style="text-align:center;">[Whispers]

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh yeah, that wasn't me.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: A groaning sound of trees and dirt shifting. Perhaps the addition of some dark, magical effect.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Uh... Did the path just... change?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I hate this place so much.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: A vine snaps at him.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Hey! You started it, okay?

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Growling behind them.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I think it's better if we keep moving forward.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Hail and well met, friend!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Growl.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">What did it say?

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">That she looks forward to feasting on our desiccated flesh.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh, well, in that case.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Let's move quickly, shall we?

<p style="text-align:center;">---

<p style="text-align:center;">FOREST

<p style="text-align:center;">You'll never impress your father.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Leave me alone...!

<p style="text-align:center;">---

<p style="text-align:center;">FOREST

<p style="text-align:center;">Cabbages...

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">OoooOOOOoooh!

<p style="text-align:center;">---

<p style="text-align:center;">FOREST

<p style="text-align:center;">You've had something in your teeth for a while and no one's mentioned it to you...

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">(horrified)

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh my gods!

<p style="text-align:center;">FOREST

<p style="text-align:center;">Haha just kidding. No one has ever loved you...

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">(chewing)

<p style="text-align:center;">Hey guys, did you know horses are, like, omnivores?

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Ew. What do you have in your mouth?

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">No idea my dude.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Ugh.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">May I have some, Keanu?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh gods. No Colin! Keanu, please spit out whatever that is.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">(swallows)

<p style="text-align:center;">Too late.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Gross.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Aw. I wanted some.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONTINUOUS:

<p style="text-align:center;">'''SCENE 4. EXT. GIL'S FOREST VISION.'''

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Something magical. Maybe an end to the forest noises? Or perhaps they grow louder. ''Essentially, each Companion is in their own unsettling vision. Although they are still close together, they can no longer see each other. ''

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">You can't just pick things off the ground and eat them, Colin-- Colin?

<p style="text-align:center;">Wait. Where is everyone. Faendyr? Camilla? Bianka!

<p style="text-align:center;">RODNEY

<p style="text-align:center;">Hello, Gil.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh my gods!

<p style="text-align:center;">Where did you come from? You're not in your stick.

<p style="text-align:center;">RODNEY

<p style="text-align:center;">It's me, Rodney.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">I know who you are.

<p style="text-align:center;">RODNEY

<p style="text-align:center;">You only think you do.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">What's that supposed to mean?

<p style="text-align:center;">RODNEY

<p style="text-align:center;">You'll see.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh. This isn't really happening, right? Is this some kind of omen, or is my brain just making up stuff under the influence of the forest?

<p style="text-align:center;">RODNEY

<p style="text-align:center;">Yes.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">"Yes" to omen or "yes" to imagination?

<p style="text-align:center;">RODNEY

<p style="text-align:center;">Yes.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Uh. Okay.

<p style="text-align:center;">RODNEY

<p style="text-align:center;">You're smarter than you give yourself credit for.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Um. Thanks?

<p style="text-align:center;">RODNEY

<p style="text-align:center;">Watch your back, Gil. I'm rooting for you.[a beat] No pun intended.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Hey Rodney...?

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: The ambiance from before the vision resumes.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh. He's gone. Okay. Great.

<p style="text-align:center;">TRANSITION TO:

<p style="text-align:center;">'''SCENE 5. EXT. BIANKA'S FOREST VISION.'''

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Same sound as Gil's vision.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Hello? Great. I'm alone in a weird forest. This is... fine. Not creepy at all. It's fine--

<p style="text-align:center;">DUCHESS WITHERSHANKS

<p style="text-align:center;">Ah, Mistress Coalbrand...

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">(startled noise)

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: arrow shooting

<p style="text-align:center;">DUCHESS WITHERSHANKS

<p style="text-align:center;">You shot me!

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Sorry. But you did sneak up on me in the middle of a creepy forest. And you're already dead, so.

<p style="text-align:center;">DUCHESS WITHERSHANKS

<p style="text-align:center;">You're a horrible young woman.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Guilty as charged.

<p style="text-align:center;">DUCHESS WITHERSHANKS

<p style="text-align:center;">You murdered me.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">That wasn't me. That was Gil.

<p style="text-align:center;">DUCHESS WITHERSHANKS

<p style="text-align:center;">On your behest.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Also you were a vampire disguised as Duchess Withershanks, whom you actually did murder... and I'm assuming ate. So you did have it coming.

<p style="text-align:center;">DUCHESS WITHERSHANKS

<p style="text-align:center;">You were fully prepared to murder me when you thought I was a helpless, kindly old woman.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">There was a little more to it than that.

<p style="text-align:center;">DUCHESS WITHERSHANKS

<p style="text-align:center;">I wonder what your friends will think when they discover what it is you really do.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: BIANKA shoots her again.

<p style="text-align:center;">DUCHESS WITHERSHANKS

<p style="text-align:center;">Hey.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Ooops.

<p style="text-align:center;">DUCHESS WITHERSHANKS

<p style="text-align:center;">You did that on purpose!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: She shoots again.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">That time I did.

<p style="text-align:center;">TRANSITION TO:

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU'S FOREST VISION (AFTER BIANKA).

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: A fair-ground atmosphere.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Uh, hey guys? You seeing this too? Guys....? Woah.

<p style="text-align:center;">What's that awesome delicious smell?

<p style="text-align:center;">ANNOUNCER

<p style="text-align:center;">Are you ready?!

<p style="text-align:center;">AUDIENCE

<p style="text-align:center;">Woooooo!!!

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh wow, who would have thought those funny pink meat sticks would smell so good!

<p style="text-align:center;">ANNOUNCER

<p style="text-align:center;">On your marks...

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Woah, are ALL those for me? Nice.

<p style="text-align:center;">ANNOUNCER

<p style="text-align:center;">Get set....

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">(it dawns on him)

<p style="text-align:center;">Hold on. I don't have hands!

<p style="text-align:center;">ANNOUNCER

<p style="text-align:center;">EAT!!!

<p style="text-align:center;">AUDIENCE

<p style="text-align:center;">WOOOOOOOO!!!!

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">How am I supposed to eat if I don't have hands?! - Wow you guys eat fast - This isn't fair! I'm going to lose because I don't have hands! NooooOOOOooooOOOOOooooooo....!!!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: His "no"s fade out into an echo... <p style="text-align:center;"> CAMILLA'S FOREST VISION 

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Keanu? Was that you? Where did everyone go off to?

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Footsteps approach.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">Hello your majesty.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Ugh. Lord Peerless. Why are you dressed in ermine? You look like an idiot.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">I only wear garments befitting a king. Strange you do not recognize the station of your husband.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I know what this is. I'm not an idiot. Get your inane vision right, Forest.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">Presumptuous, as always.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">When I am queen, if Lord Peerless is my husband, and this is a very big "if"- he will be a prince, not the King.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">That is assuming you will rule the kingdom.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">How dare you! I am the Crown Princess. I will be the next ruler of Kirkland.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">But then who will care for our twelve children?

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Babies crying.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh my gods.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">You better go to them.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm not listening to you anymore.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">Take your hands off of your ears.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">What was that? I can't hear you.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">Princess Camilla---

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">La la la la la la.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">I have something very important to tell you.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Pardon? Can't hear you.

<p style="text-align:center;">PEERLESS

<p style="text-align:center;">Very well. Farewell, Princess.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: He disappears.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh. That worked? Alright then.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN'S FOREST VISION 

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Ooooooh.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: A cabbage falls to the ground.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">What was that?

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Another cabbage.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">(gasp)

<p style="text-align:center;">Cabbages....!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: A bunch of cabbages continue to fall, as if it were raining cabbages.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Oooooooh...! Gil?! Keanu! Kevin! Help! It's raining cabbages!

<p style="text-align:center;">'''SCENE 6. EXT. FAENDYR'S FOREST VISION.'''

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">I can help you.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Okay, now my staff is talking. That's normal.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">I can help you, Faendyr. But first you must help me. You wish to be respected. To be loved.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Well, yeah. I mean, don't we all?

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">You desire love and a sense of place more than most.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Just snatch my wig...

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">I chose you because of this desire.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">You chose me?

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">To be loved, you must be respected. To be respected, you must have power. I can give you this power. But you must trust me.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Okay, cool. I mean, obviously this isn't real. This is just the Woods messing with my head, yeah?

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">If that is how your mind must process this, then so be it.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">So... that's a 'no' then?

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">You must keep me safe. There are others who want me. The Imperium. The Keepers. That witch. They don't understand what I can do, what I am. You must keep me out of their hands.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">The Keepers? What in the Infernal Plane is that?

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">They are the ones in the shadows, pulling strings they have no right to touch.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Um. Okay. The thing is, keeping you is kind of a problem.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">The choice is yours, elf.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I think you're pretty cool... awesome, even. My magic is like 200% better with you.

<p style="text-align:center;">But we made a deal with Gwendolyn. That's why we're doing this whole crazy thing.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">Is that why you chose this journey, Faendyr?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Not entirely.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">If you wish to help Sir Gilbert return his lover to life then, by all means, hand me over to the witch.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh. Gil and Rodney, huh? Wow. Okay.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">Does he know why you left Amaranthyne?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">No. No one does.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">What do you think will happen to you if you walk up to the gates with your Companions?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Nothing great, that's for sure.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">We want the same things, Faendyr. But if you surrender me to anyone, understand--

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Distant trumpets.

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">I must leave you. The spell has been broken.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Wait! What's going on?

<p style="text-align:center;">CONSUMER OF FLESH

<p style="text-align:center;">Remember what I said.

<p style="text-align:center;">'''SCENE 7. WHISPERING WOODS.'''

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: The "normal" Whispering Wood ambiance resumes. Colin runs up.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Faendyr! There you are!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Colin hugs Faendyr

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Hey Colin-- oh. You're hugging my waist.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">I thought I'd never see you again!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Everyone else walks up.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">That was weird, right?

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Extremely.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">There were so many cabbages...!

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">I saw Rodney. I mean, out of his root.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">(trying to sound normal)

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh yeah? What did he say?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Not a lot, really.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">''I saw Peerless as King. As if I wouldn't kill him before that happened.''

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">''There were a bunch of unicorns. But they were uuuuuuh, like, in cages? That's weird right?''

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: DISTANT trumpets.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">There's that noise again.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">What is it?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Faendyr, what do your elf ears hear?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">(harsh)

<p style="text-align:center;">You guys do realize that just because my ears are pointed, I don't automatically hear better than humans, right?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">You okay?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Sorry. I'm a little on edge.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">You guys do remember I'm a unicorn right? You could've asked me.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">What did you hear, Keanu?

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">I don't remember now.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: TRUMPETS again

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Now I remember! It's um, oh shoot. You know when people like... blow through this metal tube thing? To, like, uhhh... make noise?

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Trumpets?

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">No that's not it.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Frogs?

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Maybe?

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">It's the ramparts of Amaranthyne. We must be close.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Thank the gods. Let's go!

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Hey, uh. I'm gonna stay here.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">What? Why?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Just... elf stuff.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">What are you talking about?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Elf stuff! You know! ... I gotta... meditate.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">In the Whispering Woods?

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Dude, if you gotta poop just say so.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Ew! No!

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Dude, it's cool. I poop like, wherevs. Nobody cares.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Because you're a horse!... And I don't have to!

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Okay, bud. Whatever you say. Wink.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm not talking to you anymore. To everyone else: You go ahead. I'll stay here.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">We shouldn't split the party!

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm not moving from this spot. Colliga me! [KALL-ee-GAH may]

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Magic. Ropes.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Oooooh!

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Did you just tie yourself to a tree with magical rope?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">... Obviously.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Why?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I thought it would be dramatic.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh my gods.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">I get it, bro.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">If you're going to be child Faendyr, so be it. Come along, everyone.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Don't take too long finding the relic though, okay?

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">(grimly)

<p style="text-align:center;">I make no guarantees. Shall we?

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">After you, your majesty.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Walking away

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Wait wait wait!

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Yes?

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">What's up, man?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">No, you guys keep walking, I want to talk to Gil.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: The others walk off

<p style="text-align:center;">Scene 10.2

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">What is it?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I just want to say...

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Yes?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">The time we've spent together has been really important to me.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Yeah me too.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Especially because-- well, I just want to say...

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Yes...?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Can you take Fleshy for me?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">What?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Sorry, Ol' Flesh Eater...? The staff?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh. Sure.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I have to admit, I've gotten kind of attached--

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Yeah?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">To the staff.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Of course, that's what I thought you were going to say.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I want you to take good care of it, in case something happens.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Faendyr, what's going on? What do you think is going to happen?

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I... I can't tell you. I'm sorry.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm sorry too.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Can you get it though? I'm uh, kinda tied up at the moment.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Sure.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: GIL picks up the staff.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Don't give it to anyone.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Of course.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I mean anyone.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Okay.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">You better get going.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Yeah. See you later.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">I'll be here.

<p style="text-align:center;">That's a joke. Because I'm tied up?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">No, I got it.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">You didn't laugh though.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Bye, Faendyr.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Gil walking away

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Bye!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Woods creaking. Maybe a cricket.

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Well. This is. Fun.

<p style="text-align:center;">'''SCENE 8. EXT. GATES OF AMARANTHYNE.'''

<p style="text-align:center;">BARD

<p style="text-align:center;">And so the - shall we call them "brave" - Companions arrive in the capital city of the Elven Imperium: Amaranthyne. Finally.

<p style="text-align:center;">The prosperous city bustles with the sounds of a thousand inhabitants from across the continent going about their lives.

<p style="text-align:center;">And above it all, its towers scraping the clouds, is the gleaming palace of the Eternal Empress. <p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">But not all may enter. The crystalline complex is surrounded by the White Cliffs, traversed only by a single, gated bridge.

<p style="text-align:center;">To journey on, the Companions must face their most arduous challenge yet: Customs. <p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">What's with the talking horse?

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">He's a unicorn!

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">It's okay, my dude. I think I'm a horse sometimes myself, too.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">How do you not recognize a unicorn?

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm a palace guard, not a College professor. Like all humans are into cheese.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Who has cheese?

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Gil walks up

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Did I miss anything?

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Where is the cheese?!

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Wait, who's this?

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">There you are. This is Sir Gilbert Wyvernguard.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">You can't bring up cheese and not give me any!

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">You're the Chicken Affair guy!

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">(uncomfortable)

<p style="text-align:center;">Yep, that's me.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">What did Stretch want? Wait, why do you have the staff?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">That's what he wanted.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">You look like you're awkwardly holding a dragon. You want me to take it?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">I would love to, this thing gives me the creeps, but Faendyr wants me to have it. He was... very insistent.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Your call, Sir Knight.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Wait a moment. I didn't see you down there, dwarf.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh ha ha.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">You're Bianka Coalbrand.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">I see my reputation precedes me.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">It does. You may not enter the Imperial Palace without written dispensation.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Seriously?!

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Bianka works for me. She is an indispensable part of my retinue as the Crown Princess of Kirkland.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Sorry, but she can't enter the palace.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I would hate for you to get into trouble with your superiors for causing an international incident with your most powerful ally.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">"Most powerful" is kind of a stretch...

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">My father started an international incident over a chicken. It's unwise to upset the royal family of Kirkland. We are petty and have long memories.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Sorry. Rules are rules.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">(sighs, annoyed)

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: book opening, writing, paper tearing

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh look, what's this? A written dispensation allowing Bianka Coalbrand to enter the Palace from the High Princess and Heir to the Throne of Kirkland.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">How convenient.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Very well. But you will be held accountable for her actions.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I assure you, there will be no trouble.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Uh, yep, what she said.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">I'm afraid I can't make an exception for the um, unicorn.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">But he talks.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Even if he talks. We have a strict rule barring farm animals in court. As a result of the Chicken Affair, in fact.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">It's okay, lil man. I'll be fine out here.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh, no! We will provide a stable for you, of course. We have the finest stable-hands in the whole of Ilsylian, and we import luxury hay from across the Glass Sea. You will be very comfortable, I assure you.

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Niiiiice! Sign me up. I've only been a horse for like, two weeks now though. Just to warn you.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Ah, here's the stable hand now. Enjoy your stay.

<p style="text-align:center;">AS THEY WALK AWAY:

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Thanks, bro! Be good, Colin.

<p style="text-align:center;">STABLE HAND

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh gods, you can talk??

<p style="text-align:center;">KEANU

<p style="text-align:center;">Wait, you can talk?! Oh, no, people are supposed to. Haha, nevermind.

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">As for the rest of you, please this way.

<p style="text-align:center;">'''SCENE 9. INT. THE EMPRESS' THRONE ROOM. '''

<p style="text-align:center;">MUSIC and SOUND: A transition with COURTLY SOUNDS, live MUSIC, sparkly elven stuff.

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: A large door OPENS. The live elements get louder as the Companions enter.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh wow.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Ooooooooh!

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Okay, seeing this, I kind of get why elves are the way they are, you know?

<p style="text-align:center;">COURTIER

<p style="text-align:center;">Behold her supreme majesty, The Eternal Empress, Keeper of the Immortal Flame, Guardian of the Diamond Throne, Patron of the Amaranthian Domain--

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Just meeting the most powerful person in the world. Cool cool cool.

<p style="text-align:center;">COURTIERS

<p style="text-align:center;"> * Displeased, shocked noises*

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Forgive my companion, Empress. She is unused to such pomp and circumstance.

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA

<p style="text-align:center;">Yeah, this is really not my kind of venue. I'm more of a street-and-bar type of woman... I'm going to be quiet now.

<p style="text-align:center;">ETERNAL EMPRESS

<p style="text-align:center;">You are fortunate, mortals. Few of your kind are permitted into the heart of our Empire, to lay eyes on the seat of our eternal power--

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Hail and well met! I've never seen an elf before!

<p style="text-align:center;">COURTIERS

<p style="text-align:center;"> * more displeased, shocked noises*

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Faendyr is an elf.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Is he?

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Colin! Don't you need to take Kevin outside?

<p style="text-align:center;">KEVIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Squeak.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">He's good.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Take. Him. Outside.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Okay!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Colin walks away.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Empress, I send greetings from the throne of Kirkland--

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">(from further away)

<p style="text-align:center;">Hello door-elves! Please let me out!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Doors opening.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I am--

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Ooooh! They opened the doors for me when I asked! Did you guys see?

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I am--

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Did you see?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Yes, Colin, we saw.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I'll wait.

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Bye friends!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: DOORS start to CLOSE

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I am--

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">You must not have heard me. I said "bye"

<p style="text-align:center;">BIANKA, GIL, CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Goodbye Colin!

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">Kevin says bye too.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Close the door!

<p style="text-align:center;">COLIN

<p style="text-align:center;">I love you!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: DOORS CLOSING

<p style="text-align:center;">Scene 12.2

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I am the Crown Princess Camilla, daughter of Alfred the King, duchess of Brador and heir to the throne of Kirkland.

<p style="text-align:center;">ETERNAL EMPRESS

<p style="text-align:center;">Yes, I am aware of who you are. I extend my greetings to your father. Who is the knight?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Sir Gilbert Wyvernguard, your majesty.

<p style="text-align:center;">ETERNAL EMPRESS

<p style="text-align:center;">A Wyvernguard rose to distinction in the war against the Trance Worm. A relative?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Yes, majesty. My grandmother Vera of Lakewallow.

<p style="text-align:center;">ETERNAL EMPRESS

<p style="text-align:center;">I remember her. A brave and supremely skilled woman. Her son also became a renowned warrior did he not?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">(rather not talk about this)

<p style="text-align:center;">Yeah. My father.

<p style="text-align:center;">ETERNAL EMPRESS

<p style="text-align:center;">You come from a storied line, Sir Gilbert. What boasts may you proclaim?

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Um. Well. I'm the third best knight in Kirkland. After Peerless and Rodney.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">With respect, Empress, we did not make the long journey to your court to discuss Sir Gilbert's family.

<p style="text-align:center;">ETERNAL EMPRESS

<p style="text-align:center;">Of course. What brings you--

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Doors opening, hurried FOOTSTEPS

<p style="text-align:center;">COURTIERS

<p style="text-align:center;">(surprised, intrigued noises)

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">I swear to the gods, if I turn around and it's Colin--

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Your supreme majesty!

<p style="text-align:center;">ETERNAL EMPRESS

<p style="text-align:center;">What is it?

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">We found the fugitive.

<p style="text-align:center;">ETERNAL EMPRESS

<p style="text-align:center;">Bring him before me!

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Bring him to the Empress!

<p style="text-align:center;">SOUND: Guards WALKING, CHAINS.

<p style="text-align:center;">COURTIERS

<p style="text-align:center;">(shocked noises. Maybe whispering like "it's the Empress' brother." "Is that Faendyr?" "I can't believe it" )

<p style="text-align:center;">Scene 12.3

<p style="text-align:center;">GUARD

<p style="text-align:center;">We found him tied to a tree outside the ramparts, your majesty.

<p style="text-align:center;">CAMILLA

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh no.

<p style="text-align:center;">GILBERT

<p style="text-align:center;">Faendyr?!

<p style="text-align:center;">FAENDYR

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh, hey guys. How's it goin'?

<p style="text-align:center;">BARD

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh my. It looks like Faendyr has gotten himself into a bit of trouble. But how? And will the Companions finally get their greedy little hands on the final relic? Find out next time on THE ADVENTURES OF SIR RODNEY THE ROOT!

<p style="text-align:center;">CREDITS

<p style="text-align:center;">BLOOPER

<p style="text-align:center;">SILVER

<p style="text-align:center;">(As Gil)

<p style="text-align:center;">Do you need help?

<p style="text-align:center;">TATUM

<p style="text-align:center;">.... Somebody help me. (laugher) InSENday?

<p style="text-align:center;">LAURA

<p style="text-align:center;">In-KEN-day

<p style="text-align:center;">TATUM

<p style="text-align:center;">Incende!

<p style="text-align:center;">