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INTRODUCTION

NARRATOR

Welcome dear listeners, to the Adventures of Sir Rodney the Root!

SCENE 1. EXT. RIPPLING BROOK.

OLFGA

Olfga and boys take small human princess now.

HEAD VILLAGER

While we are devastated by the loss of our beloved queen, our village will honor her sacrifice.

VILLAGERS

*murmuring in agreement*

CAMILLA

You shut up. Olfga--

OLFGA

Olfga.

CAMILLA

That's what I said.

OLFGA

No. Listen. Olfga.

CAMILLA

Olfga.

OLFGA

OLFGA.

CAMILLA

That is literally what I said.

ORC BOYS

*derisive snorting*

OLFGA

That is what you think. Humans. Pffft.

CAMILLA

Well, your accent--

OLFGA

Small princess is one who have accent.

CAMILLA

No I--

OLFGA

Is how all beings talk in Navakinsk. Princess is one who has strange accent.

BARD

She has a point.

BOYS

*impatient grumbling*

OLFGA

Enough... how you say? Chit chat. Olfga and boys have important business in Sunken Kingdom.

SCENE 2. EXT. THE FAERIE COURT.

FAERIE QUEEN

Well, mortal, enough chit-chat. What do you say? Will you take the human child?

GILBERT

It's not like I can really say no.

FAENDYR

I mean you could.

GILBERT

And be stuck here for eternity?

FAENDYR

You'll be stuck with responsibility for a child. Which is like, just as bad.

GILBERT

No it's not!

COLIN

Oh, yes. Yes it is.

GILBERT

We'll take the child.

ALL FAERIES

*disappointed noises*

FAERIE QUEEN

Oh thank the moons. That is a weight off our shoulders. Now please leave.

COLIN

Yeah, get outta here!

FAERIE QUEEN

No, Colin. You are going with them.

COLIN

Oooooooooh!

FAENDYR

We will leave your realm, your magnanimous majesty.

FAERIE QUEEN

Never to return.

GILBERT

Gods, I hope not. Sorry.

FAENDYR

So, uh, how do we get back?

FAERIE QUEEN

You're a mage, are you not?

FAENDYR

Well, I mean, yeah, but...

COLIN

Oooh, are we staying?

FAERIE QUEEN

No! Make your way towards the headless fountain and take a turn at the embalmed children.

GILBERT

Embalmed-- never mind, I don't want to know. Take a left?

FAERIE QUEEN

Right.

GILBERT

"Right" as in directional? Or "correct"?

FAERIE QUEEN

Yes. Do watch your step. The first one is a doozy.

SOUND: A portal opens.

COLIN

Ooooh this is my favorite part!

GILBERT AND FAENDYR

Uhhhh?

SOUND: ... And they fall through. Objects pass them as they fall. Gil and Faendyr are terrified. Colin is exhilarated.

QUICKLY CUT TO:

SCENE 3. EXT. RIPPLING BROOK.

CAMILLA

What if I don't want to go to the Sunken Kingdom?

OLFGA

What small human princess wants does not matter. Olfga is one in charge.

BARD

Oh here we go.

CAMILLA

I. BEG. YOUR. PARDON?! I am heir to the throne of Kirkland, you may not presume to--

OLFGA

Yes. Olfga may. Olfga wonder what princess is doing in pathetic, nowhere village with no strong guard humans to protect small, soft princess.

CAMILLA

I can protect myself!

OLFGA

Then why is Olfga and Boys taking princess now? Olfga think princess has-- how you say? "Gotten in over head."

BARD

You got that right.

OLFGA

Olfga and boys use small human princess to get into Sunken Kingdom. Maybe then we let go. Maybe then we ransom for more coin. Yakov!

ORC BOY YAKOV

Hm?

OLFGA

Take princess. We march!

(Getting louder as they fall from the sky:)

GILBERT & FAENDYR

(falling, terrified)

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

COLIN

(falling, exhilerated)

Wheeeeee

SOUND: A loud CRUNCHING CRASH as Gil, Faendyr and Colin land on the orc boys.

VILLAGERS

Oooooooh.

OLFGA

Olfga's beautiful boys!

GILBERT & FAENDYR

Oooowwww.

COLIN

Again! Again!

GILBERT

Are you alright?

FAENDYR

Yeah... this, um, yikes. I think this is an orc? Yeah, their neck broke my fall.

CAMILLA

What just happened?

BARD

(singing and playing his lute)

Gilbert and Faendyr and a small human child

Have fallen from a portal in the sky,

And it would seem they have broken the necks of those three orcs.

CAMILLA

I can see that! But what happened?!

GILBERT

We were kidnapped by fairies.

BARD

(singing)

Told you.

CAMILLA

Smugness is unbecoming in a commoner.

FAENDYR

Also, we have a child now, evidently.

COLIN

Hail and well met, friends!

OLFGA

Humans who fell from sky have killed Yakov, Tolya and Frolov!

COLIN

We killed them?

GILBERT

Uh, they're just sleeping!

OLFGA

For their death, you must pay with your lives!

Olfga unsheathes her sword, frightening the Villagers

GILBERT

Woah, woah hold on!

FAENDYR

Ugh. Sorry, we just did a "life-for-a-life" thing.

Speaking of, where's your family live, kid?

COLIN

Rippling Brook!

HEAD VILLAGER

You're in Rippling Brook. Who are you? I've never seen you before in my life.

VILLAGERS

*murmuring in agreement*

COLIN

I'm Colin!

OLFGA

Olfga will not be ignored!

FAENDYR

For the gods' sakes- just give us a second to hand this kid off, okay?

HEAD VILLAGER

Who are your parents, child?

COLIN

My father's name is Miles, and my mother is Agnes. She is the one who fought for the Queen in the war.

GILBERT

We don't have a Queen.

CAMILLA

Not yet.

FAENDYR

Maybe he meant the Empress of the Imperium?

GILBERT

Hold on. The last war was over a century ago.

FAENDYR

That's not possible. He's still a kid.

CAMILLA

You're the arcane specialist. Don't you know that time moves differently in other realms?

COLIN

I've been gone for 100 years?

FAENDYR

Looks like it, kid.

COLIN

But, my family... my parents... that means I'm an orphan.

GILBERT

I know it's a lot to take in.

COLIN

Everyone I've ever known is dead.

FAENDYR

Probably, yeah. I mean, unless you knew any elves.

GILBERT

I'm so sorry, Colin.

COLIN

I shall look on you as my new family!

GILBERT

Um...

FAENDYR

Oh no...

COLIN

The faeries stole me away from my family, but they brought me to you! You shall be as my new family, who will never abandon me!

GILBERT

Oh gods.

FAENDYR

What do we do?

GILBERT

We can't just leave Colin here all by himself.

BARD

No, I mean we could.

GILBERT

We have to take Colin with us. He is our responsibility now.

COLIN

I told you I was a lot of responsibility!

FAENDYR

Gil, I understand you're trying to "do the right thing"- which is adorable by the way- but that's going to be a bit of a problem.

OLFGA

Is no problem.

CAMILLA

Yes "is problem"! We're on a quest!

OLFGA

Olfga say what is done. We also take small human young. He pose less threat to dwarves than even full-grown humans.

(The Boys laugh)

Better cover for Olfga and remaining boys!

COLIN

I'm not young! I'm 107!

FAENDYR

In Elven years you'd still be in primary school.

COLIN

How do you know?

FAENDYR

I'm an elf...?

COLIN

Ooooooh!

... What is "school"?

FAENDYR

Yeah, I'm seeing now that we should have let the fairies eat you, kid.

GILBERT

Faendyr...

COLIN

But I'm not ripe yet!

OLFGA

Enough talk! We march.

HEAD VILLAGER

Um, excuse me, um, Lady Olfga? What do we do about your, um, friends here? The ones who are... uh, sleeping?

OLFGA

Olfga leave them for you, as a reminder.

VILLAGERS

*confused murmuring*

HEAD VILLAGER

A reminder.... of..... what?

A beat.

OLFGA

We go now!

The Boys grab the Companions and push them on ahead

THE BARD

Careful, I have a rash!

FAENDYR

Um, hands off please.

COLIN

Ooooh! Where are we going?

SCENE 4. EXT. TRAVELING

BARD

(Colin is talking in the background)

And so brave Sir Rodney accompanied by the supremely talented and best bard in all of Kirkland- and those other people- are forced at sword-point to travel north towards the subterranean nation of the Sunken Kingdom...

COLIN

Oh! Do you ever wonder if the trees get cold when all of their leaves all come off? I do! I wonder what they think. I wonder if they find it embarrassing when they change colors. You know how sometimes they change...

BARD

They-- Colin-- can you not-- I can't think... No whatever it's fine, I was basically done.

COLIN

... Do you ever wonder what trees think about? I wonder that myself all the time. They stand around for a very long time I would think that they would probably have all sorts of things. I mean there are so very many bird that all land on their branches. Do you think they have favorites? Do think it annoys them? Do you know?

...

I think that birds are very strange. You see they have those funny little legs that they look like sort of like pitchforks you know. And they hop all about. And they go hop hop hop

...

You know how sometimes when you're walking? Sometimes it's dirk, but then other times its stones or rocks. I wonder what what that means. What kind of rocks do you like? I like the ones that are round....

...

I have found in my experience that goats tend to be more trustworthy than sheep, you see. I don't know why it 'tis. Maybe it's because they have those horns. Do you think maybe those horns mean that they are more reliable. I had not thought of it that way. Perhaps that is true.

....

I know lots of people. Let me think. There's me mum. And me dad. And then there's my first brother. And then my sister. And then I have another sister and another sister and then there's a brother and then there's another sister and another brother...

...

I mean if I could fly I would fly everywhere I could. I would fly very high up in the sky, and then I would come alllll the way down and I would get very close to the ground. But not too close because I wouldn't want to touch the ground...

SCENE 5. EXT. JADE REACH ENTRANCE. A windy, mountainous area. A sense of elevation and wide open space.

COLIN

And that's why you should never take advice from sheep on a Tuesday!

OLFGA

For last time, small human shut its big mouth!

COLIN

But they are considered to be more reliable on Wednes-- Ooooooh!

Jade Reach music beings

FAENDYR

Well. We're here.

COLIN

What's that big door-thing in the mountain? Does a giant live there?

FAENDYR

No. Dwarves are just super extra.

GILBERT

It's... amazing. Not what I expected.

CAMILLA

Well, they are symbolic as much as functional. The Dwarves wanted to impress the Surface Kingdoms to encourage trade.

OLFGA

Excluding Navakinski peoples.

CAMILLA

Yes, there's a long and complicated history between those two nations. And they still don't allow just anyone into their cities.

FAENDYR

Which is why we're here on this thrilling week long distraction from our own quest. Whoopee.

The music abruptly stops.

GILBERT

So, how do we--

SOUND: The ding of an elevator door. A large, MECHANICAL DOOR OPENS, followed by heavy FOOTSTEPS, with sounds of mechanical pistons and joints as the automaton moves. It speaks in a slightly disjointed voice, not unlike a computer's pattern of speech.

AUTOMATON

Welcome to the entrance to Jade Reach, capital of the vast Sunken Kingdom.

COLIN

Ooooooh! It's a giant metal... giant! Hail and well met, friend!

AUTOMATON

I am an automaton, an example of Dwarven superiority in engineering and magical crafting.

FAENDYR

(verbal expression of an eyeroll)

Uuuugh.

AUTOMATON

Our skills vastly outpace those of the humans and elves.

FAENDYR

Whoopty doo. It's not a race.

CAMILLA

A little sensitive there, are we?

FAENDYR

Dwarves think they're all that with their automatons and planned cities and democracy and whatever. Like, wow, congrats, no one cares.

CAMILLA

Oh, clearly.

AUTOMATON

I can take you to--

FAENDYR

I mean the Elven Imperium ruled the whole globe but elves don't go on and on about it.

AUTOMATON

I can take you to Jade--

FAENDYR

And we still would if the humans in the south hadn't gotten all whiny about rights and stuff and went and had a rebellion.

AUTOMATON

I can take---

CAMILLA

As a descendant of one of those whiny humans who started the rebellion--

OLFGA

SHUT UP. All of you.

COLIN

Ooooh hooo oooo!

OLFGA

Especially loud small boy. Let Giant Metal Giant speak.

AUTOMATON

I can take you to Jade Reach, but we do not grant entrance to everyone. We only allow the pure of purpose.

FAENDYR

Gag me with a spoon.

AUTOMATON

Consumed by jealousy of our advances beyond their feeble abilities--

FAENDYR

Oh my gods.

many races and nations seek to steal our technology.

Why should I permit your group entry?

ORC BOYS

*unsure grumbling*

OLFGA

Olfga let human princess do talking.

CAMILLA

Ugh. Fine.

(clears her throat, then:)

Hello, greetings. I am the Crown Princess Camilla.

AUTOMATON

That name is not recognized.

CAMILLA

I'm heir to the throne of Kirkland!

AUTOMATON

We do not care about the hierarchy of other nations.

CAMILLA

Now that's horse sh--... shoes.

AUTOMATON

I beg your pardon?

GILBERT

Haha! That's a joke. It's a human joke. Hilarious, right guys?

COMPANIONS AND OLFGA

(Feeble, nervous laughter)

COLIN

(genuine laughter)

That's so funny!

The Automaton turns to look at Gilbert

GILBERT

But we'd hate to waste any more of your time. My, um...

OLFGA

Comrades.

GILBERT

Comrades and I would like entrance into your lovely city.

AUTOMATON

What is your purpose?

GILBERT

Um...?

FAENDYR

We're from the Mages' College. Maybe you've heard of it?

(The Automaton wheels around to look at him)

It's located in the Elven Imperium. You know? The oldest and most storied nation on the continent?

We're here to study the fantastic advancements of your society for our... graduate project.

AUTOMATON

You claim to be from an Elven college, but you are the only elf.

FAENDYR

They're exchange students.

AUTOMATON

The child?

FAENDYR

He's a full-grown gnome, actually.

COLIN

I'm a gnome?!

AUTOMATON

You are suggesting those orcs are students?

FAENDYR

Why wouldn't they be?

AUTOMATON

They are orcs.

ORC BOYS

*offended grumbling*

FAENDYR

Elves welcome all who would learn into their lands. But, if you wish to stand in the way of cross-cultural exchange, that's your choice. I'm sure we can go to any city in the Elven kingdom and be welcomed without suspicion, despite our differences.

AUTOMATON

The Sunken Kingdom is, of course, as welcoming as the Elven Imperium. If not moreso.

FAENDYR

Oh, of course.

AUTOMATON

Please, step inside the elevator.

COLIN

The what?

GILBERT

No idea.

SCENE 6. INT. THE ELEVATOR. A small, enclosed area. Not unlike... well, an elevator.

AUTOMATON

Please keep your hands, feet and additional appendages inside the moving vehicle at all times.

The metal door rolls closed, and the elevator begins to move. The Companions wiggle around in the too-small space.

FAENDYR

Ugh, Camilla get your elbow out of my stomach.

CAMILLA

When you get your hair out of my face!

BARD

Woah woah! Watch the lute!

FAENDYR

Why do you have it out??!

GILBERT

(tapping on the orc's jerkin desperately)

Excuse me, um, orc boy? Do you mind... I-I can't breathe.

ORC BOY

*grrr*

GILBERT

(he's not:)

Nevermind I'm fine.

OLFGA

Olfga is slightly disappointed we make it into Jade Reach. Olfga looked forward to breaking all of humans' fragile bones.

COLIN

How did you get so big and strong?

OLFGA

Eating small human young that talk too much.

COLIN

Oooooooooh! Of course!

The ELEVATOR STOPS. A DING. The DOORS SLIDE OPEN.

AUTOMATON

Welcome to Jade Reach.

SCENE 7. "EXT" JADE REACH. STREET. A bustling FANTASY CITY, the capital of a vast underground empire. Carts moving on TRACKS, CARTS rolling on a street, PEOPLE TALKING, HAWKING, etc, but all with the sense of being in an expansive underground area.

EVERYONE

Oooooh ahhhh etc

AUTOMATON

Yes, beholding the Reach for the first time is a life changing experience.

FAENDYR

Not really, but okay.

GILBERT

Faendyr...

FAENDYR

What? They live in a city underground, congrats. Rabbits have been doing that for thousands of years.

COLIN

And birds.

GILBERT

No, Collin.

COLIN

Fish?

GILBERT

No.

COLIN

Are you sure?

OLFGA

Clearly tall elf has issues he needs to work on.

FAENDYR

I'm just uncomfortable when the conversation isn't about me.

AUTOMATON

Enjoy your stay.

The automaton WALKS AWAY.

FAENDYR

You guys do get that I was talking out of my butt about the College right?

GILBERT

Yeah, we got it.

FAENDYR

Cuz I don't want you guys thinking elves are like, chill or anything. Generally speaking we're really uptight.

OLFGA

Olfga is, how you say? Shocked.

COLIN

Question: How do you talk with your butt?

CAMILLA

Well, Olfga. We got you into Jade Reach. What now?

OLFGA

Olfga and boys have important job to search for Flesh Eater demon staff in Jade Reach for big client.

GILBERT

The Consumer of Flesh?

FAENDYR

Haha what, so weird!

(whispering:)

Gil! What are you doing?!

GILBERT

What?

FAENDYR

Don't tell her we're looking for it too!

COLIN

Why are we whispering?

OLFGA

Olfga thought to hold soft princess for ransom from father king, but princess is too much of, how you say, pain in neck.

CAMILLA

Thank you, that means a lot coming from you.

OLFGA

Olfga and boys go to search Jade Reach now. Soft princess and friends are free.

FAENDYR

Oh, no no, we're not friends.

GILBERT

Thank you, Olfga... and boys--

OLFGA

Farewell, soft humans and elf.

GILBERT

Good luck with your job!

The orcs WALK AWAY

CAMILLA

Why did you thank them? They drug us here against our will.

GILBERT

Sorry. I want everyone to like me, I guess?

CAMILLA

You need to work on that. You can't be everything to everyone. Well, unless you're royalty of course.

FAENDYR

Yeah, executing people if they don't worship you isn't the same thing as being liked, though.

CAMILLA

That Relic isn't going to find itself.

GILBERT

Hold on. Where do we even start?

A rat approaches Colin and SQUEAKS at him.

COLIN

Hail and well met, friend!

BARD

That's a rat.

BRAD

Squeak! Squeak squeak!

COLIN

Oh, yes please, tell me more!

SOUND: Colin runs off

GILBERT

Colin! Don't wander too far! And meet back here in an hour!

COLIN

(from further away)

I don't know how to tell time but okay!

FAENDYR

Lovely. Our insane child is talking to vermin.

CAMILLA

He survived a century with the faeries and didn't become an hors d'oeuvre. He'll be fine. We need to focus on finding the staff.

GILBERT

And before Olfga does.

FAENDYR

This is a big city. Where do we even start?

GILBERT

Faendyr, do you have anything in that magic book of yours?

FAENDYR

It's a grimoire and no, I don't.

CAMILLA

Well, we know that the dwarven society as a whole is logical and organized. Where's the most logical place to put an object of great historical value in a major city?

GILBERT & FAENDYR

Uhhhhh, hmmmmmmmm

CAMILLA

It's not a trick question.

FAENDYR

Oh, I know, I just want to see if you two do.

CAMILLA

A museum, you dolts.

GILBERT

Oh!

FAENDYR

Oh yeah. Obvi.

CAMILLA

We just have to find it. How hard can it be?

SCENE 8. EXT. JADE REACH. STREET.

GILBERT

Excuse me?

DWARF

Dwarven crafts! Fine Dwarven crafts, direct from Orzammar--

GILBERT

Oh, no, I'm sorry, I don't want to buy anything, I need directions.

---

CAMILLA

Automaton! Direct me to the museum of magical objects.

THE INTERFACE AS AN AUTOMATON

I'm sorry, human, but I'm afraid I can't do that.

---

FAENDYR

You... dwarf! Yes, you. ... Don't make an obscene gesture at me, I need help!

---

BARD

(singing)

Does anyone know where the museum is?

(Someone drops coins in front of him)

Oh no, I'm not busking-- oh nice. Any requests?

SCENE 9. EXT. JADE REACH. STREET. SOUND: A clock chimes the hour.

CAMILLA

Well, that was a complete waste of time. Hopefully you boys were more productive.

GILBERT

Um, well, I have this now. I think it's a bag of holding?

FAENDYR

Oh honey, that's definitely a knock-off...

Wait, you actually bought that?

GILBERT

I didn't want to be rude.

CAMILLA

And did this merchant then give you directions?

GILBERT

Um. No.

COLIN

I found a bunch of rats!

FAENDYR

Glad to see they didn't carry you off.

COLIN

Would you all like to meet them?

FAENDYR

No.

GILBERT

Maybe later, Colin.

COLIN

Your loss.

CAMILLA

What about you, Faendyr? Any luck?

FAENDYR

Everyone ignored me for some reason.

CAMILLA

Maybe because you exude this aura that you think you're better than everyone else.

FAENDYR

Oh ho, that's the dread wolf calling the cauldron black.

BARD

Are you going to ask me?

EVERYONE ELSE

*surprised noises*

GILBERT

Oh my gods. I completely forgot you were here.

COLIN

Who are you again?

BARD

No, no, it's fine. I get it. I'm more of a device than a character. Please, continue ignoring me.

CAMILLA

Well, bard, do you know where the museum is?

BARD

Even if I did I wouldn't tell you. Your majesty.

GILBERT

Let's just try again. Maybe we'll have better luck.

FAENDYR

Yes, because things have been going so well on the quest so far.

GILBERT

Olfga brought us most of the way to the staff. What are the chances of that?

CAMILLA

Gil, ask her. That dwarven woman over there. She looks knowledgeable.

GILBERT

Excuse me? Miss?

BIANKA

Who? Me?

GILBERT

Yes. Sorry. Where is the museum?

BIANKA

Excuse you. I'm a tourist. This is the first time I've been here in my entire life.

GILBERT

Oh. Sorry.

BIANKA

You think all dwarves are from the Sunken Kingdom?

GILBERT

No, no, of course not. I'm sorry--

BIANKA

I'll have you know I'm from the Imperium. You probably think we all know each other too, huh?

GILBERT

I apologize.

BIANKA

You wanna ask me where my gold stash is, and if I can fix some mechanical little trinket for you while you're at it?

GILBERT

I'm sorry--

BIANKA

I just so happen to be really good with mechanics, but that has nothing to do with me being a dwarf, thankyouverymuch!

GILBERT

I'm so so sorry. Please don't hate me.

BIANKA

What's with the stick?

GILBERT

Uh.

BIANKA

Never mind, I honestly don't care.

Hey, beautiful, what's your name?

FAENDYR

Faendyr.

BIANKA

I wasn't talking to you.

FAENDYR

What??

CAMILLA

Oh, me? The Royal Princess Camilla Aslinn Philomenia Antonia, Duchess of Brador.

BIANKA

You look very familiar. I never forget a pretty face. Hold on... you're on the money!

CAMILLA

Yes, I am the crown princess of Kirkland. It's not a very good likeness, I'm afraid.

BIANKA

Oh no, I love it. A strong nose for a strong woman. I'm Bianka Coalbrand. A true pleasure.

CAMILLA

Likewise.

GILBERT

Um. What's happening right now?

BIANKA

You folks look lost. Maybe I can help you out. What are you doing in Jade Reach?

COLIN

We're trying to get lucky!

GILBERT

Oh my gods. No, we're not. We're looking for the museum.

COLIN

Oh! I know where the museum is. Brad told me.

GILBERT

Who is "Brad?"

COLIN

My rat friend.

GILBERT

Oh no. He's not your friend.

COLIN

Yes he is!

FAENDYR

Whatever. The kid obviously made it up. What kind of name is "Brad"?

COLIN

The museum is this way!

Colin RUNS off.

BIANKA

Mind if I tag along? I wouldn't mind looking at some beautiful art. The museum can't be half bad either.

CAMILLA

*giggle*

FAENDYR

Ugh. The sooner we get this over with the better.

GILBERT

Shall we?

FAENDYR

What kinds of things do dwarves put in museums even?

GILBERT

Faendyr, please be nice.

BIANKA

What kinds of things do elves put in museums?

FAENDYR

When you live forever, museums aren't necessary.

OLFGA

Good. Soft humans and elf do exactly as Olfga planned. Spartak!

ORC BOY SPARTAK

Hm?

OLFGA

Follow them. Soon we pay final visit to Olfga's new friends!

NARRATOR

It would seem that the Companions are walking into a bit of trouble. What is Olfga planning? How do I know this is happening if I'm not technically present to hear Olfga speaking? Find out next time on THE ADVENTURES OF SIR RODNEY THE ROOT!

CREDITS

(Lena)

The Adventures of Sir Rodney the Root is a production of Talking Fish Podcasts. This episode featured the voices of Michael Silver, Daniel Johnston, Lena Winter, Michael Reilly, Yasmin Tuazon, Stacey Kruml, Andrew Quilpa, Tom Howley, Jenny Oberholtzer, Courtney Branch, and Laura Zheng. Our producers are Michael Reilly, Lena Winter, and Laura Zheng. Connect with us on social media at TalkingFishCast, or visit our website for more show information at talkingfishpodcasts.com. This show was made possible by our Kickstarter backers and Patreon supports. Support the show at Patreon.com/TalkingFish

BLOOPER

JENNY

We'll fix it in post.

MICHAEL AND LENA

(at the same time)

Exactly.

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